Ous K, let's say two roads lead to Europe: one is named "Condom" and the other is called "Withdrawal". Which route do you prefer to take? The question hit me like lightning amidst a thunderstorm. My face went pale, my body stiffened, and my cheeks were red. It is not as if these words are new to me, but being suddenly asked such a question amid more than ten young guys seated on three benches, brewing "attaya" greeTeaea while listening to reggae music, was unexpected. I was not surprised because the guys love to tease me due to my quiet, calm nature.

My name is Ousman Keita. I was born and raised in SerreKunda, London Corner, in the Gambia. My neighbourhood is lively with a high population of young people. Most of the time we whined and dined together to brew "Attaya" green tea, while those who smoke buy one or two sticks of cigarettes from "boy pullo" Amadou Jallow's shop not far from "campeh bi", the place we gather in front of the compound of one our "koto" senior friends.

When we gather at our "campeh bi" site, we forget about our daily hustle and talk about anything and everything, including the newest girl in town and whether any of the Playboys have a new catch to brag about. At that gathering, the young learn from the old and get inspired both positively and negatively, including vibing to Bob Marley, Lucky Dube, Coco Tea, Nasio, and Morgan Heritage songs.

Our mothers and sisters also said our "Campeh Bi" site is where we decide the fate of their daughters and siblings. Well, that's an accusation for which they have no evidence to support.

On this particular Friday night, the weather was calm and cold, with a slight breeze blowing on my face. Since my house is not far from the."Campeh Site:" I can hear faint noises from conversations emanating from there. When I arrived at the site, I finally got a sense of the situation. It was time for everyone present to contribute money to buy greeTeaea, sugar, and the small ingredients to brew our "Ristic attaya" green tea. The laziest and stingiest ones will come up with different excuses to dodge the contribution, and they are usually the first to be served in order of seniority.

When the dust settles, that's when one of our "Kotos" seniors bombards me with the unexpected question. Condom or withdrawal, which do you prefer?

I took a deep breath in and out, and looked around for a place to sit, and then looked back at him. He was dead serious, and like me, the question took everyone aback; a dead silence hit the gathering.

The parrot of the group, Mam Gorr alias Mam, breaks the silence with laughter that echoes through the neighbourhood, covering his eyes. Why are you asking him that? Our dear Ous K is a virgin, and he was not supposed to know these things. Right, bro, he asked, looking at me with a mocking smirk on his face.

At that moment, I could not take their teasing and painful jokes anymore. Just because I prefer to handle my affairs privately does not give them the right to assume things. Well, I said, looking back at him, your girlfriend dumped you a week ago because of me. According to her, I am a better footballer than you on the pitch. Turning to our Senior, I said, How can you ask a man who is about to enter heaven to take a step back to hell? Of course, I prefer Condoms.

Why? Because withdrawal is an outdated method that should be used by you, our "kotos", with the consent of your wives. We are young and energetic, so why go through all that stress of having to pull your penis out and jerk on the floor when you can use a Condom and not go through the stress and the pain of having to pull out during sexual intercourse. Do you know what it feels like when a man reaches climax and he is about to cum? He can even decide to sell his mother right there and give the proceeds to the woman at the receiving end of that cum. Again, I will choose Condoms as a bachelor because they will protect me and my partner from STIs, including HIV, and also prevent me from impregnating somebody's daughter, knowing fully well that we are not ready to commit to each other.

My speech was followed by an awkward silence with a glare from Mam Gorr, who was still digesting the fact that I slept with his woman.
My Senior got up and gave me a standing ovation. He said you are right, that is the beautiful double agent role of a Condom, preventing unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
The real virgin and the most religious of us all, Babou, joined in the conversation.

Guys, if you ask me, I will say that if you are not married, your first option should be total abstinence from sex and sexual intercourse. If you don't want to be dragged by the neighbourhood for impregnating somebody's daughter, total abstinence is the road you should travel.

Mam Gorr interjected, Well, I don't have to worry about that because my girl is on the pills, and I am not a fan of Condoms or withdrawal, so both roads are not for me.

Lamino, one of our "kotos" seniors, told us that due to rising prices, his business is not doing as well as it used to. So, he and his wife decided to take a break from having children and focus on their three children. My wife wanted to see one of the marabouts to make a charm for her to wear on her waist because she is not a fan of modern contraceptives, including Condoms. She will also frown at withdrawal. But her friend introduced her to implants, and after visiting the hospital to learn more about the options available, she decided to go with the monthly injection, and we are doing fine.
As the conversation went on, the majority of the guys enjoyed buying condoms and having them on them in case of emergencies, but none opted for the withdrawal method.

Even though talking about sex is taboo in our society, including at home, some of us are sexually active and we are doing it without the knowledge of our parents. Condom or no Condom, we will still engage in sexual activities, so it is better to have access to Family Planning commodities whenever we need them and wherever we want them. It would also be beneficial to have condoms sold in our regular shops, along with more trained community-based distributors of FP Commodities at the doorstep of the population, ensuring availability, accessibility, and affordability. It is a relief to know that there are varieties of choices to choose from.


Note: Access to safe and voluntary Family Planning is a Human Right. It is central to achieving gender equality and women's empowerment, and it is a key factor in reducing poverty.


Author: Halimatou Ceesay